The War That Never Was

Take note Washington. THIS is how compromise works.

In Episode #4, I challenged Lamb of God frontman Randy Blythe to a Twitter war. Days later, I declared the war over after he clearly waved the white flag. Apparently, I spoke too soon…

Below you’ll find a transcript of the entire conversation (edited only for format and clarity) between the man I once lovingly referred to as Crazy Uncle Randy. You’ll see we took some soft jabs at one another at first and that while I still disagree with Randy on a number of issues–including the the benefits of downloading and the quality of new music–the “war” ended without ever firing a shot. In another triumph for social media, we had a mutually respectful and candid exchange of ideas, one that could not have happened without the help of technology. Not only did it introduce The SIDESHOW to thousands of potential new Freaks, but it also allowed fans to see a side of Randy Blythe he hadn’t revealed since he began his one-man assault on Twitter two months ago–and that’s something I happen to be very proud of.

[NOTE: Randy’s comments appear in bold, the ROCK(jock)’s in italics.]

Wondering what happened to my Twitter war with @lambvox? Crazy Uncle Randy got scared — wp.me/p1OErB-3n

We had a “Twitter war”? Who are you? I must have gotten bored & quit. I’ve been in Asia eating squid & chicken heads.

Sounds delicious. Naw, we were going to but then you posted the new material a day later.  I figured you heard the show, got scared, and waved the white flag.  Which is awesome if the rest of the album sounds like the teaser. Got a minute to stop by and talk about it?

Stop by? Are you in Richmond? I leave for Europe Monday.

Nope. NYC. When I said “stop by” I mean via phone/email and when I said “show”…well that’s kind in the title.

What show? Dude, I don’t take anything here serious. Twitter is just a social networking site limited to 140 characters. Obviously I must not pay enough attention to every single “show” on the Internet. Still haven’t heard of it. Until now.

As far as PRESS goes, we are in the press part of an album cycle. If you want an interview, contact our publicist. Surely you know that’s how proffesional bands handle press. Otherwise we would sit around all day doing what I’m about to stop doing right now- talking business on a freaking social networking site. I’ll put up my publicists twitter name soon.

Yeah? [“Dude, I don’t take anything here serious.” is] refreshing to hear cause people shouldn’t. It’s all in fun!  Although you did seem to take all that file-sharing/PRP/djent stuff pretty seriously…

Me stating my opinion on a social networking site should not be considered a matter of ANY gravity. People take this shit WAY too seriously. Should go outside & do something. As I’ve said before-just another digital fart in the cyber-toilet.

Could not agree more. BUT you must realize you’re kind of a big deal and that your digital farts carry more weight than most.  Not to mention, you seem to spend an awful lot of time “farting” on the Internet rather than going outside. True enough. But that’s the great thing about social networks. It allows the gap between bands/fans/press/everyone to disappear.

I got bad news for ya- I get more done in a week than most do in a month. I type fast when I get a spare few seconds. Wanna compare last 2 weeks? Fuck, I’ll put my last month up against your last YEAR. Speaking of spare seconds, I’m out. L8.

Haha no doubt you’re a busier dude than I. I’m not questioning that.  Speaking strictly as a fan, I love that guys like you, [Mark Hunter, Greg Puciato], etc. take the time the interact like this. BUT you’ve used “business,” “professional,” and “work” to describe MUSIC. No one will argue its a dirty, cutthroat industry. You just seem very…world-weary I guess.

I’m not world weary AT ALL. I LOVE what I do. But it’s a common misconception that being a touring band is just something dudes do for fun & we just cruise around partying our asses off. After a certain point, IT IS “work” IT IS a “business” & if you want to survive you HAVE to be “professional”. That is the cold hard TRUTH dude. That is the difference between a bunch of guys who get together and jam tunes, no matter how killer, in the garage, and a bunch of guys who feed their families this way we have wives & kids bro. We aren’t in our 20’s. We don’t live in a big crappy punk house together. There is no 401k, no retirement policy, no benefits, no health insurance- none of that shit. I’m 40 fucking years old. It’s a little bit late for me to decide to go back to college & become an accountant or whatever. This is IT dude. This is how I survive & feed my family. It’s no joke. I work in one of the most fickle industries in one of the worst economic periods IN HISTORY. I take it VERY VERY seriously. I HAVE TO. You understand? Youthful idealism about being in a band is fine-WHEN YOU’RE YOUNG. I’m not a kid anymore. All that being said- I love my job. I would make music still even if I couldn’t make a living at it. But right now, I do. So I take it SERIOUSLY. I have to. Anyone is welcome to give what we do a try…

On this point, you and I couldn’t agree more. My day job is a blast and I LOVE running my show and website in my spare time but both require a LOT of work and should be treated as such. Too many bands disrespect what they’re lucky to do for a living and from that standpoint, I see you’re point of view. I have even more respect for you after these exchanges than I already did and I hope we get the chance to chat in person when you’re come to NYC in January. If not, thanks a ton for taking the time to interact not just with me but with all of your fans and haters alike. Best of luck on the road and with the new album dude. Can’t wait to hear it.

Twitter is cool like that- I use it to interact with fans & tell stupid stories. It demystifies the rock star thing some. Which I think is a good thing- we should be viewed as just normal human beings with cool jobs. I hate the rockstar shit.

With such a strong example of diplomacy now on my resume, I plan on fixing the economy next–via Twitter of course. @BarackObama, expect my proposal within the week.

Vote ROCK(jock) 2012!

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2 thoughts on “The War That Never Was

  1. hahaha you got owned.

    kyle – lets fight
    randy – who are you?
    kyle – more fighting words
    randy – seriously?
    kyle – yeah seriously
    randy – ok kid- here’s how this shit works.
    kyle – oh. …ok i love you.
    randy – thanks. i know.
    kyle – i win!

    should we expect the same roll over and play dead
    philosophy in your economy fix?

    1. Hahaha! Well “Tits” (or should I call you Randy?), yes, that’s absolutely what you can expect. It’s a finely crafted strategy I’ve honed over the past three years watching our current President.

      POLITICAL BURN! (Sorry ‘Bam–the hope is gone.)

      Also, as hinted at above, we’ve each got different theories as to who this is and it’s become a hot subject of debate over the last few days here at The Circus. Care to reveal yourself?

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